The Inklings format
Intentionally simple.
Deeply personal.
Up to ten men meet at least once each month for a few hours of meaningful, semi-guided conversation focused on building authentic friendships, challenging one another, and growing in every area of life.
The heart of Inklings · Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpens iron.
Support is the foundation.
Growth is the purpose.
A coffee gathering or a Bible study can be valuable. Inklings asks for a deeper commitment: to help one another become better men. We listen and encourage, and we also ask hard questions, offer honest feedback, challenge assumptions, and hold one another accountable.
Trust makes those conversations possible. Different perspectives help us see what we might miss. The goal is to put what we learn into practice — in our marriages, families, work, friendships, and faith.
Friendship for the whole of life
How is Inklings different?
A wider circle of friends
Your group does not need to come from church. We encourage you to invite men from outside your church, including those who do not attend church.
Every part of life belongs here
Faith is part of the conversation, alongside marriage, family, work, business, friendships, and the challenges of everyday life. Inklings makes room for the whole person.
A structure for meaningful conversation
Thoughtful questions help your group explore areas of life you might otherwise overlook — from marriage and raising children to business decisions and faith. The format helps you reflect, challenge one another, and turn those conversations into growth in everyday life.
New friendships, fresh perspectives
Aim for a diverse mix of backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives. Reach beyond the same friends you have met for coffee for twenty years. Introduce men from your close, trusted network whom others in the group do not already know, creating room for new friendships.
The power of a personal introduction
A friend of a friend.
The beginning of something new.
Trusted introductions. New friendships.
Start with people you know.
Make room for people you don’t.
A leader might begin by inviting two men he knows, then ask each of them to invite men from their own close networks. Those men may also introduce someone from their own circle, until a group of up to ten takes shape.
Why reach a little further? A trusted introduction gives a new friendship a place to start. Bringing together men who do not all share the same history makes room for different experiences, fresh questions, and perspectives your usual circle may never offer.
The aim is to build trust together, beyond familiar roles and well-worn conversations. You do not all need to know one another already — that is part of the opportunity.
Leading by example
The character of an Inklings leader.
Men who lead an Inklings group are expected to live out these four commitments. They shape how a leader serves, listens, and helps men grow together.
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A life rooted in Christ
A personal relationship with Jesus.
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Grounded in God’s word
A growing understanding of God’s word.
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Humble enough to learn
A humble stance that seeks to learn from others and from God.
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Courage to address conflict
A commitment to address conflict promptly and biblically.
Making room for one another
A guide for your group.
Begin with an invitation
Groups are currently formed by invitation. The founding members determine whom to invite and work together to establish the culture of the group.
Lead with openness
One or more leaders should be willing to model vulnerability, encourage honest discussion, and help conversations move beyond surface-level topics.
Find a place to gather
Meetings may be held in a private home or a public venue — whatever best serves the group.
Make time for family, too
Meetings are generally scheduled for late afternoon so members can return home in time for dinner with their families. A recommended meeting time is 4:00 PM to 6:00 PM.
Be considerate
Sharing a beer or another drink is perfectly acceptable. However, groups should avoid overindulgence and remain considerate of members who may have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
Bring a thoughtful question
Each month, one member should bring a thoughtful question or discussion topic. At least once each quarter, the topic should encourage spiritual growth and reflection on Scripture.
The Compass QuestionStart by checking in
Meetings typically begin with a roundtable check-in where everyone shares how life has been since the previous gathering. The selected discussion topic then provides a starting point for deeper conversation.
Step away together
Once a year, the group is encouraged to hold a retreat. This might be a weekend away, a day retreat, or another opportunity to step away from everyday distractions and spend focused time together. Spouses may be included where appropriate.
Keep the conversation constructive
The only subjects discouraged from dominating meetings are those that already consume much of everyday life — sports, politics, and unproductive criticism of one's spouse. If a member needs support regarding his marriage, the conversation should focus on helping and encouraging him rather than criticizing someone who is not present.
Look for growing trust
Success is not measured by attendance alone. It is reflected in growing trust, deeper friendships, honest transparency, emotional support, and the willingness to celebrate victories while walking together through challenges.
A place to begin
The Compass
Question.
The recommended first discussion question:
“If you knew you had ten years left to live, how would you spend the rest of your life?”
This question establishes the tone for the group. It encourages openness, reveals what matters most to each person, and helps members become comfortable having conversations that go beyond everyday life.
The Inklings application includes more than one hundred additional discussion topics to guide future meetings. Leaders may also create private topics that are unique to their own group.
Remember that the discussion topic is a guide, not an agenda. Some meetings may be entirely devoted to helping a member through a difficult situation or simply catching up on life together. Those conversations are often the most valuable. The goal is to be present, supportive, and genuinely invested in one another, rather than to complete a schedule.
The Inklings story
Men making each other better.
Get in touch
Want to start
an Inklings group?
Inklings is currently invitation-only. We would be happy to discuss your interest in starting an Inklings group.
Get in touch with us using the form.